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About Me
- pearlinprogress
- Danish Cherokee mix.. world traveler, Mother, Grandmother, writer, photographer future movie maker and fine business owner, only child, born in the 6o's.. lover of peace, baby flower child, lover of restorative justice wife of a man working to get well.... lover of God #1 God is Love!
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Gods order for things, Gods timing and Gods rewards not mine!
S I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you.
16"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." Matthew 20:..14,16
O This reminds me of Martha and Mary.. Martha was working hard through the visit of Jesus preparing for everyones needs while mary sat at the feet of Jesus.. taking in hIs word. Martha felt that she was doing what was right while mary was sitting around.. she felt resentful.. and so did those who had worked all day when those who worked only an hour got honored the same as them with the same pay.
Gods wisdom is not like our wisdom. He values the things of the spirit and the heart over the needs of the body.. And His order and reasoning is often the opposite of ours.
It is also like the Prodigal son and his brother. The one brother was loyal and obedient and stayed and helped his dad but the prodigal went out and squandered his wealth and became broken and humbled and low in spirit. He returned to his father and was rewarded greatly. He was lifted up by his father and celebrated. The brother who was always there felt bad cause the dad had never thrown him such a party. But the dad reminded him that he had eaten with his dad everyday.. while the other brother had been lost.
Sometimes I feel resentful like the loyal brother, Martha and the all day workers.. I think I am doing right and working hard and i feel a sense of entitlement. And I feel sorry for myself when the rewards don't come. I resent my husband for not workin it like I am workin it.. and I feel upset when he has the support and I go without. But Gods heart is bigger than mine. Gods heart is wiser.
In ways I was closer to God as a babe than I am now with all of the good works that I am doing in my own eyes. My love for the Lord as a child and my baby words " I love Jesus" without anyone even telling me about him was a greater testimony to my mom than years of studying and grumbling and sniveling over the injustices today..
14The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them. 15But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple area, "Hosanna to the Son of David," they were indignant.
16"Do you hear what these children are saying?" they asked him.
"Yes," replied Jesus, "have you never read,
" 'From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise'[g]?" Matthew 21:14,15,16
A&P God I pray that you would restore in me the childlike heart. The one that just loves and believes without all of the intellect of what I think I know! And I pray Lord at the same time for maturity and Wisdom to stand strong in love knowing that You have it under control and it is not my job to carry the load. Help me to love my husband and others when they get the rewards when I have done the work. God I pray you will help others to love me when I have barely been able to pick myself up and walk yet get recognized in someway when they have been workin so hard..
Help me God when I have stood out in the cold early so that I wouldn't be responsible for making anyone late, and when I have let another go first, and when I went the extra mile to bring someone a drink and serve.. Help me Lord in those times not to feel resentful that I am then chastised for being late and hurried to sit down without being able to fill my plate.. God please help me in other groups, when I wait for everyone else to be served and then stand to get my own while another pushes through for seconds then another until most of the meal is gone and I do without. This is a reoccurring theme for me and sometimes I just want to shout.. "Hey!! don't you see I have been here, doing the right thing.. can I just get some recognition for my efforts instead of chastisement for being last and holding up the class.
God I pray that you will help leaders to see the sacrifices that people make to even make it to these classes.. the long walks and waits in the darkness of dangerous neighborhoods.. the rain, the cold, the incredible life obstacles and challenges and things that come up and are beyond their control. The serious health conditions, the job losses, the emotions around seeing a family member relapse and go to jail, the heart break that he won't be there again for Thanksgiving or Christmas.. The despair that maybe my family will never be repaired.
To be on time to class is being late.. but when people depend on other people for rides they just want to be thankful for that ride, appreciative.. and letting others go first is my heart but it makes me last and late.. so i get chastised. Please see the big picture, Leaders.. We have sacrificed how many Sunday nights with our families for how long? We have jumped hurdles and ran long miles that we never could have imagined running and we have arrived!!! Sometimes I just need some encouragement. Some words of praise! Wow, you made it! Good Job! And Lord I pray that you would forgive me for holding resentments towards those who chastise me. Please help me to not do that!! And most of all help me not to hold judgement towards those in my life who are running behind and struggling to catch up.. which holds up the show called family that I feel justified in believing should have already started and forgive me for all of may failures that I am blind to .. help me to see and be humble and wise.. God please help us to sort these things out and get along with understanding and love.. I love you so much God!! Please help me to be wiser!!! Love Shell
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